Welcome to Beechtree Design! We know it’s very helpful to create a space where we can share wedding tips for brides-to-be, show some behind-the-scenes of our wedding stationery design and process, and address any questions you may have about what we do. Follow our blog to stay updated on what we’re doing to make your wedding day special and unique.
You might’ve already been introduced to our owner, Michelle, on our about page, but she is our custom wedding stationery designer here at Beechtree Design. Michelle has been consulting, designing, and sending custom wedding invitations and stationery since 2008 – over 12 years! From invitations, to custom save the dates and wedding day stationery, Beechtree Design is here to make your wedding stationery truly memorable.
Now that you know a bit more about us, let’s ‘address’ the proper way to address your envelopes.
Why the Details Matter
Your wedding invitation is the first impression of your big day, so even something as small as how you address your guests can leave a lasting and memorable impression on them. Paying attention to the little details is a great way to provide an experience for your guests, after all, the envelope is the first thing they’ll see when they receive their invitation. When your guests receive a beautiful envelope with their names written specially for them, they’ll know how honored you feel to celebrate your special day with each of them. Following proper addressing etiquette will help you to create an experience for your guests as they receive and open their custom wedding invitations.
What is Addressing Etiquette?
So what exactly do we mean by addressing etiquette? Consider what you know about each of your guests: some are married, some have significant others, some are married but don’t share a last name, and others may not be any of these things. In addition to considering spouses and significant others, consider whether or not you’ll be inviting an entire family. Each of these scenarios requires a different type of address on your custom wedding invitations. Again, it’s so important to create a memorable experience for your guests when it comes to wedding stationery, and that all begins with properly addressing them!
For Those That Are Married
Many of your guests may be married couples that share a last name. For people that are married and have the same last name, the address line would look like:
Mr. and Mrs. John Smith
123 Main Street
Cinnaminson, New Jersey 08077
Be sure to follow the guide above, some common mistakes would be putting ‘Mr. and Mrs.’ on one line and ‘John Smith’ on the second line.
One special tip for this special way of addressing your guests: if the wife is a widow, the proper way to address her is: Mrs. John Smith.
For Your Unmarried Friends and Family
Showing your guests how important they are to you is such an important part of your wedding day. So, your mindfulness of their relationship status can keep them from having any awkward conversations after being addressed as married when they aren’t. For those of your guests that aren’t married but have significant others, follow this guide:
Ms. Jane Smith
Mr. John Doe
123 Main Street
Cinnaminson, New Jersey 08077
Notice the use of “Ms.” and the separation of the guests’ names on two separate lines. Two things to remember is the woman always comes first, and don’t use the word ‘and’ before the man’s name. The word ‘and’ indicates that they are married, but she kept her last name. Again, being mindful of how to address your guests that aren’t married is just another part of creating an experience for your guests when they receive their custom wedding invitation.
For a Married Couple with Different Last Names
It’s become increasingly common for women to keep their maiden names after getting married. Maybe they prefer their last name over their spouse’s, or perhaps they have a degree in their maiden name – no matter the reason, be mindful of your married friends with different last names in order to respect their use of their maiden name. For guests that fall into this category, address their envelopes as:
Ms. Jane Smith
and Mr. John Doe
123 Main Street
Cinnaminson, New Jersey 08077
For these guests, take note of the use of “Ms.” and the separation of the names onto two lines. Be sure to add the word ‘and’ before his name as it indicates that they are married. There’s a reason some women prefer to keep their maiden name, so be sure to address them as such!
For Same-Sex Couples
We get this question a lot… How do I address a same sex couple that is invited to my wedding? If the same-sex couple is married, you should write both names on one line, and separate them with the word “and.” You can choose to give each name its own title; for example: “Mr. John Smith and Mr. Jack Brown” or “Mrs. Jackie Jones and Mrs. Anna Williams.” Many same-sex couples keep their last name after marriage, so this format will apply in most instances. You might consider ordering the names alphabetically.
Another way of addressing same-sex married couples is with the plural form of the title. This especially applies when the married same-sex couple has the same last name. For men, you could write “The Messrs. Mike and John Brown” instead of “Mr. Mike Smith and Mr. John Brown” (although the latter is also correct, and can be used if preferred). For women, you could write “The Mesdames Anna and Jackie Williams” (or “Mrs. Anna Williams and Mrs. Jackie Williams” if preferred). These same rules apply if the couple has a hyphenated last name.
When in doubt, ask the couple for their preferred greeting. They likely won’t mind the inquiry, and you can prevent making a mistake in your invitations.
For Single Guests That Are Bringing Guests
Many of your friends and family may not be married and may not have a significant other (or maybe you’re just not sure), either way, if you plan on allowing a guest ( you should if they are over 18) to bring a guest of their own, make sure you address them properly on your envelope. For women that are bringing a guest, follow this guide:
Ms. Jane Smith and Guest
123 Main Street
Cinnaminson, New Jersey 08077
Notice again the use of “Ms.” and the inclusion of the guest on the same line. For men that are bringing a guest of their own, use this guide:
Mr. John Doe and Guest
123 Main Street
Cinnaminson, New Jersey 08077
Again, notice how your guest and their guest are written on the same line. When addressing an envelope to your guest that is not married or does not have a significant other that you know of, be sure to make it clear that they are invited and they are welcome to bring a guest of their own, whoever that might be.
For Families
If you plan on inviting children to your wedding, be sure to follow one of the next three guides on your envelopes. If you plan on inviting the entire family, you can use one of these formats:
The Smith Family
123 Main Street
Cinnaminson, New Jersey 08077
or
Mr. and Mrs. John Smith
and Family
123 Main Street
Cinnaminson, New Jersey 08077
These two formats show your guests that you’re inviting the entire family, including children, whether that be the parents and their two children or the parents and their eight children! Do you have a lot of cousins? Especially young ones? In some cases, you may decide that you only want to invite children over a certain age, so you should address your invitation differently if you plan to do this:
Mr. and Mrs. John Smith
Jessica and Sam
123 Main Street
Cinnaminson, New Jersey 08077
Addressing your envelope in this way lets your adult guests know that you’re only inviting their older children, Jessica and Sam, and not their younger children who may be under a certain age. Using these formats to address your envelopes to families will make it clear who is being invited and who is not, which makes it easier for these guests to make a plan to attend your special day.
Why It Matters
You may be thinking, “But do people really notice details as small as this?”, and the answer is: yes!
Your guests like to know that their preferences were considered when the invitations were addressed, so keeping in mind whether someone goes by their maiden name or their married name is one way to show guests you care about them!
Following addressing etiquette also helps to avoid confusion for your guests. Make sure to make it clear that your unmarried guests know that they are welcome to bring a guest by using this guide. You can also avoid any confusion when inviting families by making it clear that you’re inviting the whole family or just the parents and older children. Doing so makes it possible for the parents to make plans for their younger children on the day of your wedding.
Overall, following proper addressing etiquette for your wedding invitations makes your wedding stationery memorable and sets an exciting tone for your special day!
Have a specific etiquette question? Be sure to contact us and ask: michelle@beechtree.design
